Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just before morning tea Santa yelled: "Banta! Meri Ik ungli kat gayee! Tujhe pata hai?" says Banta. "Magar ye hua kaise?" "Maine toh bus is ghumte hue chakar mein ungli aise lagayee thi...oye teri! ik aur kat gayee!"
Santa Singh and Banta Singh were sitting on a tree and Santa Singh was singing a song. After 4 songs Santa Singh hung himself upside down and started singing again. Banta Singh : Oye Santa, Tujhe kya ho gaya ? Tu ulta latak kar kyon gaa raha hai ? Santa Singh : Oye Banta, tera to dimaag hi kharab ho rakha hai. Paagal, ab mein B side ke gaane gaa raha hoon .
Santa singh and Banta singh are employed in a computer hardware store as movers. One day both of them are asked to move some computers. Santa Singh being energetic that day doesn't feel the computer to be heavy at all. At the same time he sees that Banta Singh is struggling very hard to lift his computer. At this Santa Singh says " What Banta, my comp has 500 MB HD and urs has just 250, even then u cannot lift it ???" At this Banta Singh thinks for a while and replies "Thats right, but my HD is full and urs is empty"
Santa Singh is walking the other day and comes across a banana peel on the road. Can you guess what he must be thinking ?? "Saala aaj bhi girna padega..."
Banta singh finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied "Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought ... and at last I wrote THUNK !!!"
Santa Singh got a part time job at the Post Office. The first assignment his supervisor gave him was the job of sorting the mail. Santa separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur. Extremely pleased by this, the supervisor approached Santa at the end of his first day. "I just want you to know," the supervisor said, "that I'm very pleased with the job you did today. You're one of the fastest workers we've ever had." "Thank you, Sir" said Santa, beaming, "and tomorrow I'll try to do even better." "Better?" the supervisor asked with astonishment. "How can you possibly do any better than you did today?" Santa replied, "Tomorrow I'm going to read the addresses."
Banta goes to the vet and says, "My horse is constipated." The vet says, "Take one of these pills, put it in a long tube, stick the other end in the horse's a**, and blow the pill up there." Banta comes back the next day, and he looks very sick. The vet says, "What happened?" Banta says, "The horse blew first."
Preeto caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room. Preeto: 'Oye kya dhoond rahe ho?' Santa: 'Hidden cameras!' Preeto: 'Aap se kisne kaha ki ithe hidden camera hai?' Santa: 'Oye tujhe samajh nahi aata kya, woh jo aadmi tv par aa raha hai use kaise pata chal jata hai ki main Lashkara TV dekh raha hoon. Woh thodi-2 der mein kehta rehta hai 'Aaap dekh rahe hai Lashkara!'
Banta Singh was travelling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the passport size photograph of his son (for college admission). Accidently,the photograph fell down from his pocket. He started searching for it frantically & found it on the floor, below the ends of a woman's saree. He asked her "Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph." The rest is history. He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted to hospital
Banta Singh was going along with his pet birds in a cloth bag and saw Santa coming in from front. 'Hi', says Santa, 'Aur, Andar kya hai?' 'Chidyaan', replies Banta. Santa, 'Agar maine bata diya ki andar kitni hai, to tumhe mujhe ek deni padegi ?' Banta, 'Agar tumne bata diya, to mein tumhe dono hi de dunga.' Santa, 'Nahi, ab toh mein teen loonga!'
santa was assigned to make a thesis on cockroaches for his phd. brave santa put a cockroach and cut one of its legs and hopped to otherside of the table and yelled come on baby come on baby. the insect crawled to otherside and like he cut 5 legs and finally yelled the cockroach come on u idiot and make it fast. but the poor creature just wriggled. so santa put his theory saying, when u cut five legs of cockroach, it becomes deaf.
Santa : 'Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?' Banta : 'Yes, I have' Santa : 'Well, my father dug it.' Banta : 'That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead sea?' Santa : 'Yes, I have.' Banta : 'Well, my father killed it.'
Santa:Do you have color TVs? ShopKeeper:Sure. Santa:Give me a green one, please.
The Sardarni asked her lover, Santa Singh Santa Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring? Sure replied Santa What's your phone number?
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have got a computer in our home and we face some Problem, which I want to bring to your notice.
After connecting to Internet we planned to open an email account. But when ever we fill the Form of Hotmail, in password field only * comes.
But in rest of the fields whatever we typed comes but we faced The problem only in Password field. We checked with Hardware vendor and he said that
there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we have opened the email account with password *****.
But I request u to check this as we our self don't know what is the password!!!.
The next one is that we are unable to enter anything after we shut down the computer. There is a button for start but not for pause, stop as in stereo recorder. We request u to add the same in future.
There is a option as RUN in menu. This one of my neighbor after clicking
started running and he has run up to Amritsar from Chandigarh. So we request u change that to SIT. So that we can click that by sitting.
One doubt is that can I click Re cycle bin. I own a scooter in my home. Is there a separate option as Re scooter bin available in the system?
In Microsoft outlook we are able to see the outer view of the mail. Is there an in look through which we can have inner view of the mail?
The last one is my wife has lost the door key of our house. So I searched for the same in search option of start icon. But I did not find the same
It's a bit long...but a true story and worth reading. > > > > > Years ago a hardworking man took his family from New > > York State to Australia to take advantage of a work > > opportunity there. Part of this man's family was a > > handsome young son who had aspirations of joining the > > circus as a trapeze artist or an actor. This young > > fellow, biding his time until a circus job or even one > > as a stagehand came along, worked at > > the local shipyards which bordered on the worst > > section of town. > > > > Walking home from work one evening this young man was > > attacked by five thugs who wanted to rob him. Instead > > of just giving up his money the young fellow resisted. > > However, they bested him easily and proceeded to beat > > him to a pulp. They smashed his face with their boots, > > and kicked and beat his body brutally with clubs, > > leaving him for dead. When the police happened to find > > him lying in the road they assumed he was dead. > > > > On the way to the morgue a policeman heard him gasp > > for air, and they immediately took him to the > > emergency unit at the hospital. When he was placed > > on a gurney a nurse remarked to her horror, that his > > young man no longer had a face. > > > > Each eye socket was smashed, his skull, legs, and arms > > fractured, his nose iterally hanging from his face, > > all his teeth were gone, and his jaw was almost > > completely torn from his skull. > > > > Although his life was spared he spent over a year in > > the hospital. When he was finally discharged his body > > had healed, but his face was very disfigured and > > disgusting to look at. He was no longer the handsome > > youth that everyone admired. > > > > When the young man started to look for work again he > > was turned down by everyone. One potential employer > > suggested to him that he join the freak show at the > > circus as The Man Who Had No Face. And he did this for > > a while. > > > > He was still rejected by everyone and no one wanted to > > be seen in his company. He had thoughts of suicide. > > This went on for five years.One day he passed a church > > and sought some solace there. Entering the church he > > encountered a priest who had seen him sobbing while > > kneeling in a pew. The priest took pity on him and > > took him to the rectory > > where they talked at length. > > > > The priest was impressed with him to such a degree > > that he said that hewould do everything possible for > > him that could be done to restore his dignity and > > life, if the young man would promise to be the best > > Catholic he could be, and trust in God's mercy to free > > him from his torturous life. > > > > The young man went to Mass and communion every day, > > and after thanking God for saving his life, asked God > > to only give him peace of mind and the grace to be the > > best man he could ever be in His eyes. > > > > The priest, through his personal contacts, was able to > > secure the services of the best plastic surgeon in > > Australia. They would be no cost to the young man, as > > the doctor was the priest's best friend. The > > doctor,too,was so impressed by the young man, whose > > outlook now on life, even though he had experienced > > the worst, was filled with good humor and > > love.The surgery was a miraculous success. All the > > best dental work was also done for him. The young man > > became everything he promised God he would be. > > > > He was also blessed with a wonderful, beautiful wife > > and seven children, and success in an industry which > > would have been the furthest thing from his mind as a > > career if not for the grace of God and the love of the > > peoplev who cared for him. This he acknowledges > > publicly. > > > > The young man? > > .. > > .. > > .. > > .. > > ............. Mel Gibson. > > > > > > His life was the inspiration for his production of the > > movie "The Man Without A Face." He is to be admired > > by all of us as a God fearing man,apolitical > > conservative, and an example to all as a true man of > > courage. > > > > Yes, this is a true story.
It's a bit long...but a true story and worth reading. 
